When you are bad at finishing things
The way I trick myself into getting things done that I really want to do and yet perpetually don't do even though I really want to do them.
I’ve only ever published one book. So maybe it’s a fluke. Maybe what I know to be true about book writing is only relevant to that singular experience in time. Well… that is probably true. Now writing hundreds of blog posts, essays, research papers, articles, and around 70 zines (length of 4 pages to 40 pages), that is definitely not a fluke.
What I have found, and am helping myself to re-remember by writing this today, is that I’m really great at finding excuses to not start. Even more common is to start and not finish. Most of my writing/working is able to get done only by the application of made up ways to trick me into working.
There are a few times that the spark of the idea and the pure joy of creation blasts me through all hesitation and I get the thing done in one go… Awesome.
That is great for:
Onsie Mini Zines
Brain dumping the entire table of contents and introduction for a book in a multi-hour binge (which is how this book got its start).
Almost all short form articles and blog posts and newsletters and social media posts including this essay.
Founding a non-profit (not kidding, one late night session on wordpress and the secretary of state website).
Starting an ecommerce website.
Brainstorming and writing down a new product production and launch plan.
What that’s not great for:
Pretty much anything that requires dedicated long term commitment of time and energy for more than a 2 week push. For me this applies beyond writing too… like anything from doing the dishes to training for a triathlon to learning to play the cello. I think the only really long term thing I’ve kept up over my life is: art and writing.
Why Staying Focused Long Term is Hard
We could look long and hard at why this is the case… but we will just take a short detour and lean on personal experience vs scientific studies. For me, it’s a combination of self doubt and/or bandwidth.
ALSO: the 2 week project cycle most school work was done on for the first 24 years of my life.
Bandwidth is my excitement carrying me too far down the road before I have a chance to think through the longer term ramifications of seeing a project through to the end. And I get sick, a lot. That takes quite a bit of time. Taking up bandwidth is also the things already ongoing without adding new things in — a great small biz, a daughter and partner, a really neat house that needs perpetual work, and lots of art making.
As far as the insecurity goes? Well that sure is a daily struggle. Therapy helped. First through my university, then more recently through BetterHelp. Healthy relationships go a long way. Pushing through and keeping on trying —- not sure if it helps or if it’s just the way I’m wired. Sure does feel better than giving up on my ideas. Taking some solid time to unwind and relax and when possible take a vacation. Those things also help.
Keeping Track of Long-term Projects
While I can’t do anything about the ingrained 2-week project cycle, I can lean into it by setting mini 2 week project goals. First though I need to have a good sense of what’s on my plate to begin with.
I first fell into this way of project planning by taking Lisa Congdon’s course on Creative Live (affiliate link). Basically a big ol’ spread sheet that I check in with once a month-ish to make sure I’m making progress on all those longer term things. Because if I don’t remember them, I’m not going to do them.
I have a lot going on, and it’s all really fun stuff. But I want more. I’m greedy for getting the ideas in my head out into the world. There’s the book by Todd Henry of Accidental Creative called Die Empty — it’s a good read/listen. Go get it, then get what’s in your mind and heart out into the world. For you, for me, for the future, and for the past.
Action Plan for Staying Focused on Longterm Goals
I don’t trust myself to remember anything, nor should I have to.
Anything I need to do on a re-occurring monthly basis like file sales tax or payroll is a re-occurring reminder on my phone AND my google calendar.
I have a list of all active projects no matter the size (spreadsheet a la Congdon)
I write out a visual map of my week to help me batch like tasks & gauge if too much is stacking up in a single day or week and see if I can move things. Some times it’s planning on takeout vs home cooking, other times it’s rescheduling meetings or canceling things where I can.
I check my list of active projects and drop them into my weekly map in little actionable bite-sized steps.
Set achievable goals that are just slightly stretching me out of my comfort zone.
Get some external accountability, for example:
Publicly announcing that you will be writing about your book each week
Getting involved in a group of folks working on a similar goal — I joined Connected Artist with Alice Sharadon this year and it’s been leaps and bounds helping me stay focused on my art biz.
Hire an assistant - It was a huge help having to “turn in” assignments to her so she had work to do.
If you are curious about my weekly map… too bad, I haven’t shared it yet. I will eventually and I’ll link to it once I do— unless I forget. Ha. That is quite possible.
Telling insecurity to suck an egg. Or not.
This is probably the hardest to admit. I had this great idea to write about the process of writing my book and the things I learn about unsolicited materials’ histories and stories as well as the writing process itself.
Well, this is the writing process. I completely did not post for, well since my last post, because I was afraid.
Have you all ever read the Cat Kid Comic Club? Well, that’s another one. Go and get it. It will make you laugh and get choked up all in one go. I’m not even going to tell you how it relates to this because I don’t want to spoil the punchline.
I will say… I totally feel like one of those little frogs right now. I don’t have anything to say. There are already so many great writers… why even try. I ‘m bad at spelling. My grammar is terrible (I seriously just spelled grammar wrong, thank you red dots). My ideas have all be done and my thoughts have all been thought. Who cares if I show up to write my self-imposed once-a-week essay.
And yet…
I care. And I’m someone. And it feels good to write and to get all this churning of words out of my head and let them flow into the keyboard. So this is my terrible essay. This may be the worst essay I can imagine in this moment. I’m rambling and making no sense. Absolutely. What was even the point I was trying to make? Maybe it will all come together in the end, and yet most likely it will still be bad, definitely not the best, all I can hope for is average subpar.
Who cares.
But instead of who cares about what I have to say (implying there is no point in doing it); I say, who cares if I do say it? I sure do. And maybe you do to. Maybe this is the kick in your pants you need to start that thing and get over the self doubt. Get over feeling like an ass whenever you even-just-think-of-maybe-trying-the-thing you’ve been wanting to try. Maybe it will get a book written or it will get a book deal or help me improve my logic and writing skills or connect me with a larger community of writers. And that’s pretty good, even if it’s just one of those maybes. Even better is that it could lead to something amazing my brain is too limited to imagine. I’m open to it.
Daily tricks for my tricky brain
I talked a bit about external accountability and that works great for those general motivation items. For me, where things really fall apart is that in the moment times of deciding what to do and not do.
Reminders on my phone
It wasn’t enough for me to add reminders onto the Reminder app on my phone. It wasn’t until I put the “To do Today” as a dashboard widget I saw some real changes in my follow-through. Every time I pick it up (let’s be real, to check social media), I literally come face to face with “oh I was supposed to clean the chicken coop today” or “practice my cello” or whatever the thing is. I can then choose to do those things or browse social, but it’s a choice vs just straight up forgetting that cello practice was a thing I could be doing. That I want to do. Because I want to be able to play chistmas music at my shop one day or at least for my family and friends or at least for me.
Just 10 Minutes
This has been great for momentum. I will literally set my timer for anything from cleaning (which is where I learned this — thanks FlyLady) to working on a painting I’m really feeling insecure about. “I can do anything for 10 minutes no matter how much I don’t want to”.
Once I’ve started (like tonight, this was supposed to be “just 10 minutes of writing” and has now turned into a hour+) I fall in love with the process and keep going beyond 10 minutes. Or not. And then when that beep sounds, on to the next thing. But at least I’ve made progress and given myself the opportunity to do the thing.
Rewards
Okay I’m going to do this thing for 10 minutes (or maybe even just 5 if I really am filled with dread) and then I get to go play video games.
More than food or booze or anything else, video games is my guiltiest of pleasures. I totally get to play after writing this essay.
Your reward is unique to you and ideally doesn’t cost money or need future planning or other people. That’s more like a reward for finishing the epic big thing in total. Not the daily just get the next to do item reward.
Read a book, give your dog a thorough brushing and shower him with treats, snuggle a cat and play video games at the same time, call a friend for a chat just to catch up, knit while listening to trashy novels, take a walk around.
Something that is motivating for you.
Other more devious ways to motivate yourself
Punishments… No more ______ until I’ve done the thing.
Sometimes I let distractions creep in under the guise of rewards for hard work. But instead of 10 minutes of gaming for 10 minutes of writing, you get 2 hours for 10 minutes. You totally know what I’m talking about.
From time to time I just have to cut myself off from distraction until I get the thing done. So in my mind I flip it. Not 10 minutes and then I can play. Instead it’s I can’t play until I’ve finished. And sometime that means days. Every time I think — oh I have a bit of time, I can play video games. It triggers “nope! Do the thing!”. Like no video games until I’ve practiced the cello and write. Absolutely worked to get this written.
Make it a Retreat
Going to the campus library is… hard for me. I don’t know why. Once I’m there I’m fine. I get a lot of anxiety about parking, pedestrians everywhere, getting lost, that I don’t belong because I have zero affiliation with Iowa State University, that someone is going to tell me to get out, that I’ll annoy the staff or the students or worse the professors… Wow what is my deal! I’ve even been a guest lecturer at Iowa State. So these are mostly lies that I’m telling myself. Anyway. Anxiety. It doesn’t always make sense.
For my book research, I need to go to the library and sign up for a community member library card, get on their computers, and then I can access academic resources and journal databases. As a community member, I cannot do this remote. I’ve done this before. It was rather fun. I’ve been saying I’ll go for the last several months… years. Okay it’s been at least since before the pandemic.
Bring it all together
So I’m going to pile up my motivation tricks. I’m going to apply some external motivation by telling you all about my campus anxiety and that I’m committing to going in October. And then I’m going to take it a step further and make it a retreat. Or a date. With myself. However you want to phrase it. I’m going to go out to yummy lunch. I’ll get myself some fancy post-its and pens. And even make myself an agenda. And I’m setting an official deadline. So there are rewards, anticipation, deadlines, reminders, calendar items, and clear actionable steps.
The next two weeks I need to focus on prepping for an open studio in my Thursday flex hours. So that means October 5th is my day. I’ll report back once I go… let’s see if I’ve properly tricked myself into overcoming this internal obstacle.
Until next time…